I hate cum. It's one of the primary reasons I bareback and I'm glad tops like cumming in my cunt because I hate cum on my face or in my mouth. I think it's very degrading taking it in the face though I sort of wish more tops would squirt on my face, both degrading and also humiliating that they don't think I'm worthy of taking their precious sperm inside me.
I hate the taste too. I've almost puked the two times I've been made to swallow. One top found it quite insulting; the other laughed and mocked me for it. He almost seemed to get off on the fact I wasn't enjoying as much as I hadn't enjoyed him fucking me without lube. I want to be forced to swallow more cum and take more in the face - a bukkake or gokkun type scenario. Just a shame most tops seem to want to bury it in my smooth hole - I think they think I dislike that more - which I do after I come down from post-orgasm high - but most tops have left by the time that happens.
This is pretty much a sub bareback bottom's thoughts on being a closet gay who indulges in rough, degrading bareback sex. It will include stories of my hook ups with random strangers and will almost entirely focus on my opinions of sleazy gay sex.
Sunday, 26 December 2010
Wednesday, 22 December 2010
London gloryholes
Where are they? I don't mean gloryholes in saunas, but gloryholes in public toilets or other places. I really want to turn up and serve guys at a gloryhole for hours on end. I just don't know where to find them in London.
Saturday, 18 December 2010
Small cock means being a bottom?
Probably not for everyone. I'm sure there are many tops with average/small cock who only view themselves as tops. Equally I know there are lots of bottoms with sizeable dicks.
For me, having a small cock only strengthens my submissive nature. It's yet another thing that I like tops to humiliate me about and remind me that being so small means I have no choice but to give up my hole as a sexual organ. The best tops I can remember are those who've mocked me for it and not even let me wank during a session to reiterate the fact I don't deserve any pleasure. They tend to be the ones who enjoy seeing me in pain from a fuck too.
I also struggle to get and maintain an erection. I'm 23 and every doctor I've seen about it has not been able to understand why this is. I have slightly low testosterone levels, but they say taking additional supplements would not rectify the problem - they think it's mainly a psychological issue. Engaging in the type of sex I do probably adds to the psychological element too. To top it off I cum very little and invariably rather quickly. I've had a couple of tops who've picked up on this and used it as a way to degrade me. They make me cum at the start of a session and I'm one of those boys who loses his libido after cumming. So making me cum, making me eat my cum and then fucking me without any care for the damage you cause to my cunt is the best way of abusing this little fucktoy.
For me, having a small cock only strengthens my submissive nature. It's yet another thing that I like tops to humiliate me about and remind me that being so small means I have no choice but to give up my hole as a sexual organ. The best tops I can remember are those who've mocked me for it and not even let me wank during a session to reiterate the fact I don't deserve any pleasure. They tend to be the ones who enjoy seeing me in pain from a fuck too.
I also struggle to get and maintain an erection. I'm 23 and every doctor I've seen about it has not been able to understand why this is. I have slightly low testosterone levels, but they say taking additional supplements would not rectify the problem - they think it's mainly a psychological issue. Engaging in the type of sex I do probably adds to the psychological element too. To top it off I cum very little and invariably rather quickly. I've had a couple of tops who've picked up on this and used it as a way to degrade me. They make me cum at the start of a session and I'm one of those boys who loses his libido after cumming. So making me cum, making me eat my cum and then fucking me without any care for the damage you cause to my cunt is the best way of abusing this little fucktoy.
Wednesday, 15 December 2010
Taking anonymous loads
When I say anonymous, I don't go to saunas, get naked and spread my legs for any top who's wandering past (I want to, but can't quite bring myself to it just yet).
The tops who fuck me I generally meet online, craigslist or barebackrt. I always ask if they're neg. I know tops lie, but if they say they are neg that's enough for me. I suppose it's me trying to satisfy my conscience that I'm being more responsible by checking - but there's a chance I've taken a poz load and I don't know about it, or who dumped it in me.
I can't quite work out whether that element of risk is the part that turns me on, or whether it's just the general fact I let random men fuck me raw. What I do know is that it's addictive. Even if a guy doesn't cum inside me, I can never imagine being fucked with a rubber ever again.
The tops who fuck me I generally meet online, craigslist or barebackrt. I always ask if they're neg. I know tops lie, but if they say they are neg that's enough for me. I suppose it's me trying to satisfy my conscience that I'm being more responsible by checking - but there's a chance I've taken a poz load and I don't know about it, or who dumped it in me.
I can't quite work out whether that element of risk is the part that turns me on, or whether it's just the general fact I let random men fuck me raw. What I do know is that it's addictive. Even if a guy doesn't cum inside me, I can never imagine being fucked with a rubber ever again.
Questions
I'm keen that this blog is quite interactive and want to answer as many questions as possible - so make comments, ask me questions and I'll make a regular thing of doing a Q&A post every week or so.
Tuesday, 14 December 2010
Stats
I know I said below I wasn't going to keep a count of the number of loads I've got, but I know people reading this are going to want to know how much sex I've had up to now and a bit more about me so...
I'm 5ft 10, 10 stone, skinny, not much body hair, very tight hole. I can be quite fem in bed - I whine a lot and am quite interested in crossdressing. I have a thing for tops who enjoy bottom's feet and mine are are small, soft and very feminine. I'm Jewish and right or wrong, get off on being racially abused, whether it be by white guys, black guys and especially Muslims. (I have an unfulfilled fetish of being raped by a group of guys with Nazi sympathies but I'm sure I'll come back to that.)
Lost my virginity at 19 to a random business guy whilst in a hotel in London. It wasn't great - it hurt even though he was quite small and he came pretty quickly on my face.
I had played around with a few older men before then - they'd fingered and groped me but nothing more.
Since 19 I can't remember exactly who's fucked me, probably because they've all been strangers. It's less than 20 but more than 10 - only two of those have fucked me more than once and all since the first have been raw. Not all have cum inside me though. Most have but a couple have been in my mouth, face or on those feet of mine. Most occasions have been rough and painful, though unfortunately not enough tops ignore my pleas and actually have mercy with me when I wish they didn't. I bleed quite easily from sex and I like it when tops get off on that and try and make me bleed. Think that's all that jumps to mind right now, but will go into more detail about some of these encounters at some point no doubt!
I'm 5ft 10, 10 stone, skinny, not much body hair, very tight hole. I can be quite fem in bed - I whine a lot and am quite interested in crossdressing. I have a thing for tops who enjoy bottom's feet and mine are are small, soft and very feminine. I'm Jewish and right or wrong, get off on being racially abused, whether it be by white guys, black guys and especially Muslims. (I have an unfulfilled fetish of being raped by a group of guys with Nazi sympathies but I'm sure I'll come back to that.)
Lost my virginity at 19 to a random business guy whilst in a hotel in London. It wasn't great - it hurt even though he was quite small and he came pretty quickly on my face.
I had played around with a few older men before then - they'd fingered and groped me but nothing more.
Since 19 I can't remember exactly who's fucked me, probably because they've all been strangers. It's less than 20 but more than 10 - only two of those have fucked me more than once and all since the first have been raw. Not all have cum inside me though. Most have but a couple have been in my mouth, face or on those feet of mine. Most occasions have been rough and painful, though unfortunately not enough tops ignore my pleas and actually have mercy with me when I wish they didn't. I bleed quite easily from sex and I like it when tops get off on that and try and make me bleed. Think that's all that jumps to mind right now, but will go into more detail about some of these encounters at some point no doubt!
My descent to being a bareback bottom faggot
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